Something I've discovered about myself is that if I don't write things down in a list, it'll never happen or it'll never be remembered. And I catch myself creating mini-lists in my head all the time.

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Obviously I forgot to finish this weblog entry (which is from September 20, 2009...where did the months go?) and I have no idea why. Thank goodness Camille still blogs or else I'd never blog again.

I don't even really know where to start. Besides the fact that it IS a new year and good riddance 2009, you were a fucking pain in the ass. One of the worst years thus far.

I just keep thinking, that every time I want to write, it's always about the same thing. It's always about the same subject, it's always about the same people. Awkwardly enough, tons of old people have stumbled back into myself as I have ungraciously stumbled back into some others. But through and through, I'm happy to say that I have put myself back into some people's lives.

It's astonishing, really. The fact you can see old faces and still have the same feelings as though NOTHING has changed. It's awesome & terrible at the same time. You would THINK everything would be different or you would THINK you could move on, but really, it's all the same.

I'm not quite sure how I really feel about that. I remember things I'd rather not remember and I forget things I wish I could remember forever.

Maybe it's the fact that Andrew might not have a place to stay in a few months, but I've been thinking of moving out. A lot.

I know people who dorm say that it's the best thing they've ever done, the worst thinng they've ever done, or they don't really care and say it doesn't really matter either way. But in my situation of not having a car and just always constantly having to travel from place to place is really irritating.

Seriously today, I just wanted to get to school so I can work on my paper without having to be at home and it was JUST MY LUCK that there was a 100k marathon all along PCH so they rerouted the CA-1 bus. It was ridiculous because I called an OCTA pesonnel at 8:45 AM asking them whether or not the bus was going to run through and she said "Yes, and PCH & Seapoint." I knew that wasn't right so I called back a second time but she told me the SAME exactly thing so I wasn't worried.

Next thing I knew, there were runners all over the place and streets were ALL blocked off. What. the. eff.
So I called for a third time, and another personnel told me that it got rerouted to BEACH and WARNER. Yeah there was no way in hell we were going to be able to walk to BEACH & WARNER in 10 minutes to catch the bus we needed to catch. I was INFURIATED.

Just the whole situation was dumb because I just kept thinking, if I had a car, it'd all be fine. Everyone keeps asking me why I don't have a car and it's because my mom & my brother are being retarded. Honest to god. My mom wants to wait until my brother sells his car so that we can use the money from his car to buy me a car but since he knows that, he doesn't want to sell his car and give the money to my mom. It gets even better.

Right now, we DO have three cars. The BMW, the Lexus, and the Mercedes. Obviously the Mercedes is my mom's car and she needs it everday so I can't drive it until she gets home from work or whever she's at. She lets me drive it as long as it's within decent hours and I tell her where I'm going. My brother's BMW is apparently out of commission and needs like hundreds of dollars of maitenance before you can safely drive it. Ugh, so, that leaves the Lexus. Basically, I can drive it whenever he's not using it. Which is on school days (in the morning) but when it comes to night time & on the weekends, I'm fucked for rides.

So here's my two plans:

1. Get a job by CSULB. Get an apartment over there & move out. NO NEED FOR A CAR! HOORAY!
   OR
2. Wait until my mom & brother are done playing chicken, go insane, and drive myself to therapy by the time I get a car.

But there's actually some good news in ALL of this! So Kelly, the girl who I was in a "race contest" with, got ALL of her charges dropped. You know what that means? I most likely can get my charges dropped because in order for a "race contest" to occur, you need TWO CARS. So if her charges were dropped, then mine should be too! It's all freaking bullpoo anyway.

 

I just can't wait all this shit can be done. Maybe I'll ask my dad to help me out with money to move out? What do you guys think?

so once again, it's that time of year where you collect all your thoughts and think about what you've done all year.
Has this year been what you've wanted it to be?
Did you expect to be where you are now?
Or has it just been another year?

I know it's only October, but if you think about it, we really only have two months left to enjoy the year 2008. I don't know about you, but 2008 has been a super epic year for me.

I'm still deciding exactly how far I'm going to develop the music portion of my life. But I guess the only thing I've figured out is that, no matter how hard I try to get rid of music, it's always going to be a major part of my life. I can't explain how difficult it is. It's almost like trying to cut off a limb and moving on like nothing happened. I thought I would be able to but, I still go to competitions (whenever I have a ride), I joined pulse, have two music classes, and can't go a few days without playing the piano/singing. Oh, and not to mention how I just go apeshit over marching band shows. hahaha

For everyone else who used to be in band, orchestra, pit/drumline, how are you handling it? Am I crazy for caring that much still?